As I look at the calendar, the days just seem to roll by and come to a end so fast. I guess that is due to us being so busy here, or maybe its because we do what we can to avoid thinking about being here. This past Monday we had a memorial service for SSG Mark Edwards, who died in his sleep. That morning I was told that I needed to turn in a report asap, so I had to miss the service. As much as I was relieved to not go through the emotions while saluting a fallen brother for the last time, I did want to be there. Some of my guys tried to avoid going, but it was healthy for them to attend. Closure is always needed during a death, even when its not someone you know personally. In the eyes of others, I saw the joy that Mark caused. Through their pain, I felt his loss. Two Soldiers that I trained with at Camp Shelby came up from another FOB because they were previously in Mark's unit. When I saw SFCb, his eyes were filled with tears like someone had stolen something/someone very important to him. SGTb shared with me that he was Mark's best-man during his wedding (possible vise versa). So, needless to say, they were very close. Even behind those thick ballistic sunglasses, I saw his cheeks rising to keep the tears from escaping. Knowing those two Soldiers' high esteem for Mark, he must have been more than just a great Soldier, but a great man.
As the week went on, we did our best to get back to our routine. I was walking back from the portojohn and saw a big camel spider (not technically even a spider). It was the biggest one that I have seen so far in this country, so rushed to grab some others to see it. One of my brave Staff Sergeants grabbed a glass container to catch it, and the chase was on. Up and down the road he ran after that little sucker, and boy he was fast (spider). With a little bit of help from others in the platoon, we caught her. My platoon sergeant researched them a bit, and found out that it was a female. The males have a more slender abdomen. Here is a couple pics of it. They are not poisonous, but do pack quite a bite.
I am not sure when we will definitely go home, but hopefully it will be before the Alabama v Auburn game. Rollll Tide!!! No worries to everyone at home, I won't be bringing any of these spiders home. They are one of the many things that this country can keep for themselves.
The other day I had a great morning devotion. Some of you might relate with me, so here is what I read during it:
My Belovedness
"Who am I?" asked the Trappist monk Thomas Merton, and he responded, "I am one loved by Christ." Herein lies the foundation of the true self. The indispensable condition for developing and maintaining the awareness of our belovedness is time alone with God. In solitude we tune out the nay-saying whispers of our worthlessness and sink down into the mystery of our true self. Our longing to know who we really are--which is the source of most of our discontent--will never be satisfied until we confront and accept silent solitary moments with the Lord. There we discover that the truth of our belovedness is really true. Our primary identity rests in God's relentless tenderness for us revealed in Jesus Christ. Reflections For Ragamuffins by Brennan Manning
"I lift my eyes to you, to you whose throne is in heaven." Psalm 123:1
love thomas merton, he puts complex thoughts in a language that i can understand. as erin says to me, 'don't become a monk though!' spent time here in mom and dad's new place. it's pretty cool. be glad you are not here as tony, david & myself all got a 'list' of jobs to do. i think nikki just got razzed about the boys running around naked almost all day long. granny & granddad came up (that's a funny story) & tiff was here as well. stuart, your old childhood friend, came by with his two twin daughters. it was good to catch up with him. and the bakanes dropped in as well. you were definitely missed & there's a basketball goal game with your name on it, tony and i saved that one for you..
Posted by: gavin | June 19, 2005 at 10:59 AM
Am I counting right? - does that spider have ten legs?
Posted by: Lance | June 22, 2005 at 12:11 AM
Well, she has 8 legs. Those two in her front were tentacle feelers. They are the same size as legs, so it does look like she has 10. Either way, she surely got our respect and was eventually let go.
Posted by: Shawn | June 22, 2005 at 02:18 PM
Shawn, I know you probably don't want to hear this, but I understand that they get bigger -- much bigger -- as the summer wears on... Take care...
Posted by: Some Soldier's Mom | June 22, 2005 at 09:55 PM
And they like men in uniform!
We use to catch scorpions back in 29 Palms, CA and AZ. Great pets!! Low maintenance!
Next posting on the blog site will be Shawn at a Spider show, with the spider on a leash.
Dave
Posted by: Bro Dave | June 22, 2005 at 11:09 PM
Hi Shawn.You be careful of those big spiders.We are trying to get used to Alabama roaches again.I had forgotton how gross they were..
We missed you this weekend and loved having Tiff with us.It wil be nice to see the two of you back together where you belong.
So you will be turning 30 in a few weeks.Anything Special you want for a celebration.I sent you a box of goodies out yesterday but wondered what special thing you need for your birthday.?
Posted by: m0m | June 23, 2005 at 10:49 AM
Shawn,
Gavin linked me up with your site, and I am certianly impressed. I have added you to my prayer list.
I wanted to share with you a bit about the true self/false self you mentioned. Our response to God's creation of us is to seek power and security -- to create a false self which thrives on the illusion that each of us has power and security. This means we never get to know the true self which God created and to whom God speaks, and with whom God visits. This false self finds it necessary to become our own god rather than submitting ourselves to the gracious love of God.
In the call of God to our lives God calls the true self, a self we do not know and thus a call we cannot hear. The true self is a reflection of God (imago dei) and thus the only way we can learn our true self is to invite God into our lives and looking into the face of God we come to know our true selves. It is this union with God that teaches us our true self and in contemplative prayer, the prayer of waiting on God in silence, we seek God by doing nothing and allowing God to be God -- allowing God to act.
I am a seeker, seeking my true self, may you find your true self also.
Posted by: Monk-in-Training | June 24, 2005 at 04:13 PM
And I was stressing out about the little brown recluse spiders I keep finding. Hang in there & don't forget to route for the Gators (heh he - my team).
Posted by: Greta Perry | June 24, 2005 at 09:54 PM
Hi Soldier,
Just found you. Nice blog.
Posted by: PebblePie | June 25, 2005 at 10:23 PM
So, this adventure does come to an end. Have a safe trip home. and May God Bless you.
Thanks for your willingness to serve our country.
Posted by: A Military Mom | June 26, 2005 at 08:52 PM
You let it go!?! You shoulda slapped it on the ol' BBQ, for some fine Iraqi cuisine!
Prayin for Mark and his kin.
I hope you have a safe trip home, Shawn. And keep on the blog, feller!
Posted by: Chad | June 27, 2005 at 10:37 AM
I appreciate the Manning paragraph, particulatly as I have come to view my own spiritual health in terms of my success (or lack thereof) at finding times and places for solitude. There is a phrase from this paragraph that stirs something deep within me: "God's relentless tenderness for us revealed in Jesus Christ." I wish I'd written that. Relentless. Tenderness.
You and your fellow soldiers have experienced much that I hope never to experience--including the dreaded camel spider. But I hope we all have the experience of God pursuing us relentlessly, in war or in peace, in joy or in sorrow, in faith or in doubt. And I hope we all come to see that the God who pursues us does so in mercy, tenderness, and love. I am reminded of one of my favorite poems, "The Hound of Heaven" by the British poet Francis Thompson. It describes the experience of fleeing from the God who hunts one down, only to find in the end that the God who relentlessly pursues is Love. http://www.mcs.drexel.edu/~gbrandal/Illum_html/hound.html
Relentless tenderness. Beautiful, and true.
Peace.
Posted by: Chris | July 01, 2005 at 10:01 AM
A soldier's basic principle in life. Im totally amazed on his belief.
Posted by: epm consultants | May 19, 2011 at 02:49 AM